Book of the Week: I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Hello Lavs! 

The book of this week is “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris. 

Let me just start by saying that I love this book a whole lot! It came at a point in my life when I had an entirely different outlook on dating and I was amazed to find that someone felt the exact same way…and actually wrote a book about it! Now before you all go rolling eyes at me, I am not saying y’all should stop relating with the opposite sex and all. All I am saying is for us to remove selfishness when delving into any relationship, and I mean any one at all. You know, quit the pretense and just be yourself. 

This book is about viewing love and singleness from God’s perspective, not ours. It is about remembering our service to God in all relationships, romantic or not. It is just not about ‘not dating’. It’s about reevaluating your whole life, your whole approach to relationships and making sure that you are not pursuing it for selfish reasons.

Plus, with the kind of relationships we have these days, we tend to put ourselves in compromising situations that only end up in disaster. The Prophet of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytaan is the third one present.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1171).

Harris believes that dating has become too inwardly focused. He feels that people date to find “their” mate according to their own principles, rules, and desires. In doing so, he argues, people put up a façade in an attempt to appear to be what the other person wants, and this hampers the “getting to know you” part of dating.

I totally agree with the author on that note and I believe that we bring that attitude most of the time when we attempt dating. Maybe not on purpose sometimes. But we do. I do not intend to cross any moral barriers or tell you what to do or not do. But I personally believe that anyone can gain something from this book, irrespective of belief. The author just wants us to understand real and sincere love the way God intends for us and I totally agree.

I really hope you read this book and share it. Have a lovely weekend lavs!

P.S: The Genre of this book is Christian. Just a heads-up for any non-christian. But like I said, it is a very enlightening book, irrespective of your belief.

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2 thoughts on “Book of the Week: I Kissed Dating Goodbye

  1. You might find my blog of interest where I critique Harris’s book.

    http://www.ikdg.wordpress.com

    Unfortunately Josh Harris is quick to point out the defects he sees with dating but quite silent on the problems his “alternative” to dating has caused. Sadly his book and those who promote has many times caused singles to stop relating with those of the opposite sex.

    This also is a good blog post (also see the poster’s earier blog post).

    http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2014/08/courtship-fundamentally-flawed-qa/

    Hope this helps.

    • Harris has actually tried to point out that his intention is not for singles to stop relating with the opposite sex. His point is for us to have healthier relationships without the stress, temptations and pretense of dating. We get tempted enough already. I have been seen/experienced relationship where dating didnt help a bit. I will definitely go through your blog and the other post. I’d love to hear your point of view. 🙂

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