Cockroaches. Bleargh!! I hate em. With every cell in my body. Generally I hate crawling pests. Maybe that’s why I keep my room very clean to the extent that my friends thinks I have OCD? (I don’t have o)

This might be an unusual topic but isn’t that what writers, sorry bloggers, do? Share their thoughts & pray someone gets it?

I woke up this morning, about to brush my teeth & pray when I saw this gigantic cockroach on my wall. I came down to get a broom (with no idea on how I was going to attack it) when this creature went ahead to climb my bed, one of my pillows and 2 of my teddy bears. Then it started towards me. I was mortified! I don’t know if all cockroaches have guts like the ones I have encountered in my new apartment. Anyway, I edged away from it, jumped on my bed, grabbed the untouched pillow and moved away from the contaminated edged of my bed…broom in hand and all. The bloody cockroach repeated the circle: wall to bed to pillow to teddies. Then it darted into the bathroom. I don’t think I was breathing all this time. I kept waiting for it, looking at the bathroom door. It seemed like a long time. I took my eyes off the door for a second and boom!! The sneaky thing was right in my front…on my BED!!! Facing me!!!! Like WTF?!!!
I shrieked and hit it (isn’t it amazing what adrenaline can do) & i ran into the bathroom.
When I got to there, I realised there was something wrong. Not more cockroaches. Not that. My whole body was shaking. My head was banging. I was sweating and my heart was doing cartwheels.
And I was thinking, this is not normal! God, You have to help me. Kill this cockroach if it isn’t dead.
Now a prayer is a perfectly normal reaction. when you wanna kill a cockroach right?
I sprayed the bathroom with some very deadly pesticide. (which really gets to me and makes me sneeze).
You see, the roaches come from there. I don’t get why the builders couldn’t have made a proper bathroom drainage. They just left an open hole. And if I block this hole, i’ll be left with a flooded room.
Anyway, as I was brushing you wouldn’t believe this cockroach came into the bathroom.
I was like ‘is this some Nollywood movie where some ‘jazzed’ roach is after my life?’
I just started screaming. I finally had the courage (probably leftover adrenaline) to pour the pesticide on the roach. It was already weak so it was easy for me. I waited until it stopped moving. Then I brushed and did my ablution (amidst choking pesticide).
Mind you, my head was still aching and my tummy is churning.
The thread hanging from my sheets touched me after I prayed and I screamed again. More head banging.
So here I am, squeezing myself in the un-contaminated part of my bed, writing this essay, sorry, blog.
Am I a crazy person?

*sigh* my life.

I hope I didn’t wake anyone up with my screams.

I think I should just go out and get a cat.

Or maybe another bottle of pesticide.

But first, off go these sheets!


8 thoughts on “Cockroaches

  1. Haaa. Get a cat…. It’ll help eat ‘ em roaches. And no, a prayer isn’t the “normal” reaction when u want to kill an insect… You may have a case of phobia like dat. I dnt knw what I fear sef :s

  2. sooo funny,dats all i can possibly say since i’m nuh scared o’cockroaches…..unless wen its dark nd i can’t tell d difference between a cockroach nd a rat (dat i’m terrified of)

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